Apr 17, 2012

A Working list of Things I Will Never Be Told

So i literally 'Stumbled-upon' this poem "A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You" by Jon Sands & i was compelled to write a reply, read his poem first so you have a better grasp of why/what my response had to come alive.

“A Working list of Things I Will Never Be Told”


When I knew of her, around December
my fear wasn’t of you leaving me but actually,
It was of you going to her instead of coming to me

I wasn’t silent because I was mad or angry,
I was silent because I knew, & in silence
My heart broke. I tried to look younger

I failed at covering up & instead highlighted
my skinny flat chest. I hated looking in the mirror,
so i stopped. I also stopped riding the subway.

I wish you wrote to me, you were always writing
I know to you I’m barely a memory
I sleep all day & I abhor the weekends

I smell you everywhere even in my hair
No man can or will ever touch me the same
I pretended to sleep

When you would tip-toe your way to the bed
Thinking I can’t hear, I’d shut my eyes tighter
I smiled

Every time you lied I smiled even wider & more sincere
I miss the way ur face kept my neck warm like the scarf
I never got, just like being with u

Kept me warm, you never knew that.
Send Sarah my regards, she's an idiot I never liked her,
I hope one day she grows up..don't tell her i said that

She killed her own pony, who does that?
Winter is even colder here, foggier, grayer.
I see your sillouttee in ever dark corner of my mind

There are so many things left unsaid
So many questioned unanswered. I miss your jokes
I never smile anymore, my soul is dead inside my body

If I asked you to stay I would be saying no to myself
& your yes would not be forever

8 comments:

  1. I love this response...Im going through a hard time in my life right now...both poems extremely relevant. Good work, my friend.

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    1. Thank you..keep thinking 'this too shall pass' *virtual hug*

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  2. Hi,

    I stumbled-upon John San's poem and followed the link to your response. I just want to say that I relate so much to this woman-side of the poem. The first stanza starting with "When I knew of her, around December" it automatically hit me. This man I knew, he started cheating in December, and I found out shortly after. Thank you so much for writing this, it's amazing.

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    1. Your welcome
      do me a favour, do NOT believe for one second it was your fault. people who cheat on us are only cheating themselves of what could've been, & what they could've had
      it has NOTHING to do with us, it's not a failure on our part - in fact it's the other way around.

      Be you, be true to you & someday someone will appreciate the amazingness that is YOU

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  3. Perfect... Think you captured the woman's thoughts wonderfully.. Both poems are heartbreakingly real.. Thank you

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